Elder Scott DeCow is on his mission!! He is in Plainfield, Indiana. He loves it. His letters are amazing and each week it seems to get easier not having him home, knowing that he is happy and loving his work. I was not prepared for how emotional this would be. The best present this year was being able to skype with him for Christmas!! It was awesome and very reassuring that he is happy and safe. Letting go is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know he is in the right place and doing the right thing.
There are a few thing I have learned this past year.
First of all,
It really is possible to fall through your deck and when you do, no one will care, but when your husband gets the shingles, oh the sympathy he gets and dinners brought to him. Hell, I could barely walk and my husband was in Hawaii!
Iv'e learned I can be a little dramatic.
When someone asks you if you need help and you say no and you really do, it's your own dang fault! No one can really care about you but yourself. Oh, some people may say they will, but ultimately your on your own.
Maybe, some people care about you for awhile. ok, I do have a few friends that I know care and I love them for it.
There are very few people I trust and even fewer men I trust.
You can't rely on anyone to make you happy, or to fix your problems. Its all up to you.
Never put people on a pedestal they will only disappoint you.
No one is perfect and if you think someone is look harder because they are not.
Sometimes bad things just happen.
No matter how hard you try and prepare yourself for situations or for things to happen, it never goes the way you think it will. sometimes its better sometimes its not.
No one tells you the pain and heartache that comes with being a missionary mom. (actually my sister did about 2 months before my son left). It is still hard.
You have to try and focus on the positive and remind yourself to do that many times a day.
Always go with your gut feeling, because it is usually right!
You can not make someone do something they don't want to do even if its the right thing to do.
Prayers can not make someone change their heart.
Think before you speak.
Writing in your journal helps vent out frustrations.
Some problems will never go away.
Sometimes giving up is better.
You may never get a "sorry" from someone who hurts you so bad.
Sometimes you should just keep quiet and deal with the pain.
People get tired of you and give up on you.
Some people just do not listen.
Some people will treat you like you are inferior.
Road Rage doesn't fix the bad drivers, it just makes you even more mad and frustrated.
Listening to The Piano Guys makes everything better, for the moment.
Nicholas' hugs are the best!!
Girls Night Outs are AWESOME and are truly needed to survive!!!!
This year I have to change, I have to change my way of thinking and be more positive. Make peace with the past and move forward as best as I can. Some things will just never get resolved without causing more problems.
Ok, its been four years since I made this list and two since I revised it. Lets see what has changed. Hmm... I found this Christmas list from two years ago, lets see what has changed.
A clean house.. That I didn't have to clean :) Still want this for sure!! Still wanting this!! The dishes done and put away. Does this ever happen? My carpet cleaned.......we put in wood floor and I love it!! Best decision ever! Nicholas to be potty trained :)Yes!!! Finally Will the Dog ever be potty trained? The kids quit telling me that they are bored. That will never happen!A bigger kitchen, where I actually have room for stuff ....Bigger kitchen, just a bigger mess right? I need a bigger kitchen..I can dream right? Someone to make dinner other than me! Take out!! The laundry done for at least more than a day. Shawn to actually think and care about getting me a Christmas gift before Christmas Eve! well, its Dec. 18th and he is starting to plan his shopping day...on Christmas Eve! At least he got me something Shawn to write me a love letter instead of worrying on Christmas eve about getting me a gift. The dog to not have any accidents in the house!!:( No dog...he got ran over. New Dog!! A new kitchen table. I really want a new table! Donny to be my friend and actually know who I am....At least I got to see Him in May!!!! Had tickets to Christmas with Donny and Marie last year! Donny to sing to me no, don't want this. it would be embarrassing My sister Lori to come and visit me!! Well, she moved closer..she's in Texas now. She's in Vegas now! even closer! My kids to stop saying that I am the worst mom in the world or that they hate me. They are teenagers, what do you expect. One day they will know what a good Mom I tried to be! Whatever! they can think what they want. To be 10 years younger. Who doesn't want this? How abot 15 years younger My 20 year high school reunion not to be in 6 months Didn't go..no one missed me anyway. wished I would have gone. To be out of credit card debt. My hair to stop going grey so often. I just get to buy hair dye more often! My kids to realize I have a life that isn't centered around them, oh wait I don't have one This year I would love..... Shawn to keep his job. He didn't now works with a friend Me to keep mine! I didn't School closed Scott to finally get his Eagle and Driver's license. YES!! and he's on a mission! **you know what, thats it!! After a couple of rough years, I'm grateful for what I have!! I have my family, we are all somewhat healthy, and a home. To some I may have it all! I guess you could say for Christmas this year I am asking for a miracle! Well, maybe I'm a little closer to a miracle....then again, maybe not! ok, I just don't want it to get worse. Last year and a half were horrible and I'm losing hope. I'm going to try hard to have a positive outlook, but its oh so very hard.